Musings of Daze and Confusion

Writer's Block: That's a wrap!

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 16:45:36 GMT

Do you have any holiday traditions that extend all the way back to childhood? How about family recipes? What are they?

Every Christmas morning we listen to the Oakridge Boys Christmas Album. This year we didn't set up the record player, but luckily I had it on my ipod, so we were still good. Christmas Eve is more of a tradition in my family anyway. That was fun. Norah loved the crocheted ark I made for her.

Writer's Block: Concert mania

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:33:52 GMT

What band are you dying to see live in concert that you've never seen before? Would you travel to a different city or state just to see them?

View 2065 Answers

Clearly my answer to this is McFly. It really annoys me that they won't come to America. I know it's harder to make it here and their fanbase isn't as huge, but still.

Enneagram

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 04:54:52 GMT

http://www.helloquizzy.com/results/the-quick-amp-painless-enneagram-test/?fromCGI=1&var_ABC=45&var_XYZ=48

I Don't Like It Here

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:28:51 GMT

I don’t like it here.

For one thing, academically it isn’t that much different from MCC, at least so far. In some ways it might even be easier, if you consider a logical progression to upper level classes that should take place. And if it’s not that much different from community college, why did I have to come?

If I’m not getting much better of an education than I was at MCC, plus I lose the benefit of having my strong family support system around me, am I not actually losing a lot in the exchange? At least with my family around, I always had someone to talk to. Here I’m feeling pretty alone. Sure, I know a couple of people here, but not like I thought I would, and some of them I don’t even see as much as I thought I would. I actually thought that coming in knowing people would mean I would make friends all the faster, but it doesn’t. I wonder if it’s because we get in the habit of hanging out together one on one, which is fine, but doesn’t help me meet people. I actually found that easier at MCC as well. In those classes I would already have classmates I talked to by now, instead of mostly feeling uncomfortable. I definitely thought I’d spend less time in my room. There’s almost less to do here than in Cary. I didn’t think that was possible.

Maybe I would feel differently if I weren’t in the dorms, or at least had a roommate that I liked, even a little bit. I don’t know. There is a definite benefit to living with people who seem to want you around. There’s also a benefit to having your own space. The only thing I don’t know is whether it is at all possible that I might achieve that this year. I really don’t want to spend a whole year surrounded by unfriendly faces. Not that the people in my building are rude or unfriendly, exactly, but I don’t seem to be able to find much to say to them. And that’s not a happy feeling.

I never realized until I didn’t have a kitchen, a stove, an oven, just how much I use these things. I’ll go to WalMart and see all these things I might like to eat that I can’t. Things like mashed potatoes, pasta, even stir-ups like Hamburger Helper. I’m maybe three weeks in and already sick of all my food options.

Maybe I would have been better off at a bigger school, in a busier place. Maybe then I would have more options, more chance of finding people like me. If nothing else, it’s certainly mathmatically more likely. I don’t think any of the clubs sound very interesting. There aren’t very many social events that actually sound like that much fun. I don’t know of any places to go, places to spend time. That may be one of the dangers of the small town atmosphere. It’s hard to say.
It really raises the question “Do I want to stay here for a whole two years?” I really don’t think so, not at this rate. I was sick this weekend and I don’t know why, but I suspect it might be at least partially psychosomatic. I’ve already had troubles here with stress affecting my health. It wouldn’t surprise me if this was somehow another one of those instances. I’m pretty unhappy. Of course, I wish my body had chose a less violent way to act out my unhappiness.

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:32:13 GMT

So I've been complaining about my roommate to my friends for most of the time I've been here. She likes the room too cold. She listens to weird accordion ayiyi music and flips it on no matter what I'm doing, like sleeping. Her huge group of friends is always around when I want to go to sleep. Etcetera. When I got the roommate swap flier in the uis email, it seemed like a fortuitous coincidence. Yes, flier, I do hate my roommate. You are so right. I need a new one.
The only weird thing is, before I had a chance to mention anything she said something to me about how she thinks we should switch. Now, even though I wanted to change, I'm not sure I understand her point of view.
Look, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth that she also wants a swap, but I've been nothing but nice, even when I shouldn't have been. I never complain about anything, even when my friends have told me I should. I'm very quiet. When I want to watch something, say on my laptop, I put my headphones in. I kick her friends out at night when I want to sleep much later than I actually want to.
So how am I the problem?

Update

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:05:17 GMT

I got my free photo book from Shutterfly yesterday. It made me excited. I like the idea of scrapbooks, but I'm not great at manual crafts. So when I found out I could do this sort of stuff online, of course I was excited. So I designed all Morgaine's pictures from Terminus into their formats. Then I got an e-mail saying I could order it for free, so there you go. I've had a flip through it and I wish some of the pictures were a little smoother, but that was my fault for not uploading as high of quality as I could have.

I'm pretty proud of myself that I've written two chapters in my novel since I've gotten to Springfield. I think it's pretty possible for the draft to be ready by November for editing. Maybe I'll even start sooner, but they do say you should pause before editing. Then again, I've paused so much intermittently between chapters that maybe that rule doesn't apply to me. I'll have to think about it. I have to think about what I want to do next, too. I know that this isn't my 100% best work and that I can do better in the future. I'll let my friends read this one and I'll try to edit it up, but I don't think I'd try to send it out or anything. I don't know. We'll see.

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Book Survey (I Had To)

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:13:17 GMT

1. What author do you own the most books by?
I would guess JK Rowling. There's ten of those. Second is probably the Left Behind series, which I have yet to read.

2. What book do you own the most copies of?
I have two copies of the following: Wuthering Heights, Slaughterhouse Five, The Nerd Who Loved Me.

3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
I probably wouldn't have noticed if it hadn't been pointed out. It's a common thing. I guess I make a poor English major that I didn't see it.

4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
No secrets. Ron Weasley, Colin Singleton, Charlie Taylor, TC Keller, Michael Moscovicz.

5. What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
It's hard to say, but I would guess either The Year of Secret Assignments or one of the Harry Potters. Maybe My Most Excellent Year. I really don't record this stuff.

6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Well, that's when I read the first three Harry Potter books and from the rapid speed with which I finished them I'm guessing they were my favorites.

7. What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
I can't pinpoint any because when I don't like something I stop reading it. I haven't had to read anything for school that I haven't liked in the past year. I really don't know.

8. What is the best book you've read in the past year?
I really don't remember what encompasses the last year, but I'm guessing The Hunger Games.

9. If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Either Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or The Hunger Games.

10. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I can actually see how some of Jaclyn Moriarty's books would be good movies. Probably The Year of Secret Assignments.

11. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Anything high fantasy because a setting outside the common one is difficult to conceive visually.

12. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I wouldn't say any of them were weird, but I have dreams about literary characters a lot. I had a dream once where I was on stage dancing with Augie Hwong.

13. What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
I don't like conventions about which books are of more value than others.

14. What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
I had a pretty hard time with Paradise Lost, just for its language.

15. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
I've only ever seen A Midsummer Night's Dream.

16. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
I don't know. French, I guess.

17. Roth or Updike?
Haven't read either.

18. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
I think I read Sedaris once. I'm not sure.

19. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
I love Chaucer's characterizations.

20. Austen or Eliot?
Is Eliot T.S. Eliot? I'm not big on either.

21. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Again, I don't believe that some books have more inherent value than others. I'll get to the books I get to eventually.

22. What is your favorite novel?
My Most Excellent Year, The Year of Secret Assignments, Misery (yes, Stephen King)

23. Play?
The History Boys. I've never seen the play, but I'm told the movie, which I loved, is pretty faithful.

24. Poem?
I don't always understand poetry.

25. Essay?
There's one in the book Finding Serenity that's about the Reavers in Firefly. I found it very interesting.

26. Work of nonfiction?
Freakanomics.

27. Who is your favorite writer?
Jaclyn Moriarty, Scott Westerfeld, or John Green.

28. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Danielle Steel, obviously.

29. What is your desert island book?
Right now I'd say the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series collection. I have one, so I know it exists.

30. And... what are you reading right now?
I'm currently on The Jesus Incident by Frank Herbert.

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Turnover

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 01:48:37 GMT

Well, I'm back from Wisconsin, so now I have to accept that college is really coming. I'm in charge of handling the vacation laundry tonight.
Vacation was actually pretty awesome. My family has gone to Deerfoot several times over the years, but this was definitely the best year, at least in recent memory. I'm not great at socializing, but I think I did better this year than before. There would be times where Amanda and I would be sitting around reading or on the computer or whatever and I would just say, "Hey, let's go see what's going on down at the Point." Then we would go to the Point (or to the Lodge or whatever) and hang out with people. I was always one of those people who was afraid to go looking around for activities like that, but I decided to get over it.
I mean, there are more specific stories than that, but I'd rather tell them on a person to person basis.
On the way home I drove the entire seven hours. It sucked. I was so tired when I got home that I just slumped into my bed. Plus, I was getting verbally abused for cumulatively 5 of the 7 hours and by the end I was irritable and just wanted to punch everyone in the car in the head.

Conventions

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:49:07 GMT

There is just something about the conventions of society that irks on me. How if you want to be different you can't succeed unless you have some unusual talent to save you from regular society's attention. If I wanted to go without a job for a while so that I could be in theater. If I wanted to let my hair mat into dreadlocks and go all trustafarian, because in some ways I feel like that's really who I am inside, without the whole trust fund part. If I wanted to read books in the park in the city or name my first son Ringo Starr. If I wanted to take a day to just run around in the woods with a camera, photographing whichever of my friends will put forth enough confidence to enable me.

But these things are difficult. Impossible? It's hard to say. Difficult is a definite. It's not like you can get a corporate job with a henna tattoo snaking across your shoulders. Entry level is the most difficult. Once you're further in, sure, you can be more yourself, but by then your job might have convinced you that you don't want to anymore. So the question is, if you can't be a successful artist or musician, the type of person who can most get away with being unconventional, will conventions always crush you?

Survey Because I Might as Well Post Something

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 23:04:28 GMT

1. What time did you get up this morning?
11:15, I think. I was really tired last night. I might've slept later, but I had to go to the doctor.

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium-well. No blood at all.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at midnight.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
How I Met Your Mother. It sends me cackling every time. Neil Patrick Harris is my favorite actor.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
I want to say London, but I think I would be cold too often and I don't really like to be cold. Maybe Atlanta. I've always wanted to live in the south. I love that southern lifestyle. Then again, it might be too hot. I'll just stay in the midwest or somewhere on this latitude.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Cinnamon toast waffles and yogurt with crunchies in it.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I really like seafood that is not fish. Whenever we go to somewhere like Red Lobster I get the combo platter so I can really indulge in different types.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Pretty much anything in salads. It's just not a taste I enjoy, with the exception of carrots.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
Regularly I would say Kojaks. On special occasions I would pick Red Lobster.

10. Favorite dressing?
Window... I don't like salad.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
It's a red and black Isuzu Amigo, but I'm not sure what year it is.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
I like knee-length prairie skirts with t-shirts. I've always wanted to be a hippie or a trustafarian.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
When I go on vacation I prefer places where I can connect with a family member, have a hand to reach out so that I'm not just wandering aimlessly. Some kind of tour, I guess.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Half full usually.

15. Where would you want to retire?
Atlanta would be nice, I think.

16. Favorite time of day?
Around 3pm. It's kind of the middle of the day and it's when I'm the most productive.

17. Where were you born?
Barrington, IL

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Hockey, but it's really much better live.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
I'm not tagging anything, so...

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
See above.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Equally interested in all your answers.

22. Bird watcher?
No. I do like to watch turkeys, but that's a different kind of bird.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I used to be a morning person, but I'm definitely more nightish than I used to be.

24. Do you have any pets?
I have a dog.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
It looks like I'm definitely going to finish my book now. Plus I think it has a working title: When Love and Hate Collide.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A ballet dancer, teacher, librarian... I was very fickle.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Christmas when I was younger. It was such an exciting time. Everything was so much more carefree those days.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
Dog because I am American.

29. Are you married?
No

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Yes

31. Been in a car accident?
Yes and now I have nightmares about crashing all the time. I'm scarred for life.

32. Any pet peeves?
People who are deliberately ignorant, like they know but are just too lazy to try to improve themselves; people who don't appreciate each other.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Meat lovers with extra cheese.

34. Favorite Flower?
Tulips, sorry Amanda.

35. Favorite ice cream?
Butterfinger or fudge brownie.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Does Kojak's count? It's not a chain or anything, but I would consider it fast food.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Never, I was good.

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Let me check... Dailybooth

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Either Kohls, because I like to buy clothes but am always hampered by money, or Barnes & Noble, for obvious reasons.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Drove to Best Buy to get a cable, but it was Sunday and unfortunately closed after 7.

41. Like your job?
Not really, but it's a job. I definitely got more hours at B&N, so I would have kept that if I'd known that the manager was leaving.

42. Broccoli?
Only as a song by McFly.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Chicago for Terminus probably doesn't count, so I'm gonna say Wisconsin for the Mohr family reunion. I just really like connecting with family.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Carl and Mom to Chili's.

45. What are you listening to right now?
The movie Knowing blaring through the stereo because Dad is going deaf, apparently.

46. What is your favorite color?
Hunter green.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
Just the one.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
No tagging.

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
6:03 PM

50. Coffee Drinker?
I've tried it, but I'm just not a fan.

Long Writer Survey

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 23:14:04 GMT

I figured that Ellen couldn't be the only one who posted this outside her community. Once something's out in the world, it's public domain...

What was the last thing you wrote?
I've only ever completed some poetry and stuff, but I am halfway through my current novel, which is still untitled.

Was it any good?
It's not bad. I know I can do better, but it's an okay first attempt. It has definitely been good exercise in garnering the stamina to finish something. It also taught me to know where I'm going before I start.

What was the first thing you wrote you still have?
I have some little three and four page stories from when I was little. My personal favorite is Bear Town, when Satan arrives. I was a twisted little kid.

Write poetry?
Not as much as I used to because I don't like trying to make symbolism work without being too obvious.

Angsty poetry?
Some was, I think.

Favorite genre of writing?
I would say realistic, actually. More of my ideas have been realistic, though coincidentally the first thing I'm finishing is fantasy. Realistic is harder, I think, because you can't fall back on fantasy worlds having different rules or whatever you need. Some of my favorite books have been great pieces of realistic fiction and I'd love it if I could be anywhere close to their goodness.

Most fun character you've ever created?
I would say Aiden from Everything's Duckie is hilarious to me. I haven't done much of that story yet because I had no prior planning, but I'm 98% sure that it will be my next project because it really is my favorite of all the story ideas I've had.

Most annoying character you've ever created?
This is a hard one. I would say that Adam from the current story is the most frustrating, but I think he's a good character. I still haven't decided whether or not he's redeemable.

Best plot you've ever created?
I really like the story for Everything's Duckie, which is about a band trying to make it in music amid all the distractions that come with fame.

Coolest plot twist you've ever created?
Not unlike Ellen's answer, mine is that a character no one will think is important ends up coming back in a visible way later on. I can't be more specific because I haven't let Ellen read that part yet and she might kill me if I spoiled her that much. This is from the untitled first novel. From now on in this survey I'm calling it UFN.

How often do you get writer's block?
Quite often, though much less lately. Though I've been working on UFN for about a year and I'm on chapter 13, I would say that quite a bit of it was done within the confines of this summer.

Write fanfiction?
I have, but a while ago. Looking back on it, it's laughable just how much I've grown as an author. There were some pretty terrible Mary-Sues.

Do you type or write by hand?
I always type. I tried to start chapter 13 of UFN at work on Friday (longhand on some receipt tape) because I was bored, but I could not do it. I like backspacing entirely too much. I do most of my notes and outlining longhand, though because I usually do it when I'm just sitting around somewhere. All of my notes and most of my outlining were done during slow times at work.

Do you save everything you write?
I do. I have everything I ever started, even though a lot of it is pretty shameful. I am not exaggerating when I say how much I've grown as a writer in the last year. Still, some of them still seem like decent ideas to me, so maybe I'll go back to the basic premise and try writing them in my new outlining and planning style.

Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?
Both UFN and Everything's Duckie are from that situation. UFN was originally an Underworld style collab novel I was going to do with Amanda, but it has changed a lot in my repossessing of it. For one thing, I kicked all the vampires out and added a cult.

What's your favorite thing that you've written?
Well, I think UFN is the only thing that really counts. The others didn't get far enough to be substantial writings.

What's everyone else's favorite story that you've written?
I have so many that it's hard to say. I think Ellen's the only one who's read all of them, so I'm very interested to know what she thinks about this question. I know my mom wanted to read what I was working on before UFN, the Carson Competition. Maybe I'll get back to that someday.

Do you ever show people your work?
I used to show more people, but now I've decided that only Ellen gets to see it for a while. Once I finish my first draft and do the series of major edits that I already have planned I am going to have other people read it. Definitely Amanda, Morgaine, Carl and my mom. Others too, probably. I just know it can be much better in specific ways, so I want to fix it before I show them.

Did you ever write a novel?
Working on it. I'm through the first 100 pages if you can believe what authors claim about word counts. The size of that is so shocking to me that I can't even explain it.

Ever written romance or really angsty teen drama?
I don't know if I'd be good at angsty teen drama. What counts in that category? I don't know what that would even entail. As far as romance goes, there's always some of it in my books, whether the story's about that or not. I did once start to write a straight-up romance, but that was mostly just for my private collection. No one's seen it.

What's your favorite setting for your characters?
Towns that have interesting features to them, like Hayward, Wisconsin where UFN is set. I also like stories where there is no specific town setting because it makes storytelling a lot more open.

How many writing projects are you working on right now?
Just one. That's really all I can handle as far as long term goes. I have a short attention span, as Ellen can certainly confirm.

Do you want to write for a living?
It would be nice, but I don't write fast enough for it to be a realistic dream unless each of them does really well. I just want to tell the stories in my head. I don't mind having other things to do as well.

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
I was published in the third grade, but that's about it. It was a poem about turkey.

Ever written anything in script or play format?
I've started to, but it never lasts.

What are your five favorite words?
Skyscraper, illuminated, distrustful, monotonous (I agree with Ellen), and voice.

Do you ever write based on yourself?
Of my long standing stories (as opposed to one-day blowoffs), I would say that the character most similar to me is Nick in UFN. We're both very easily emotional about things. I would say that he is a stronger character than author insertion would have given.

What character have you created that is most like yourself?
See above.

Where do you get ideas for you characters?
They just pop into my head. Usually there's an image first, or a scene, maybe just a couple of lines, but they always grow and change as I work with them. Adam from UFN, for example, is vastly different from how he began. This is really random and not related to how I created him but I realized suddenly a few months ago that in my head Adam looks exactly like Cadegoestocollege from youtube.

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
Some of my stories do start out in my sleep addled head. I can't remember which. I know UFN isn't, but I can't say about the others.

Do you favor happy endings, sad endings, or cliffhangers?
I like a fair conclusion. Endings that are too happy feel really false to me, but I don't usually want stories to end sadly either. As long as all the loose ends are tied I'm willing to give up some happiness.

Have you ever written based on artwork you've seen?
Not that I can recall, though sometimes reference pictures of characters help me decide who they are.

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Definitely. I make mistakes way more often than I think people would believe. My brain works so much faster than my fingers sometimes that the words I type might have nothing to do with what I meant. By the way, I made 4 spelling/typing errors in answering this question that I then had to correct.

Ever write anything in chatspeak?
I won't. It really bugs me.

Entirely in L337?
That would be so stupid.

Was that question appalling an unwriterly?
Yes, along with the misspelling of this question.

Does music help you write?
Sometimes, but lately I've been finding that I've needed quiet. I get distracted way more easily than I should.

Quote something you've written. Whatever pops into your head.
“Okay,” I said, “Two things. First, you practically broke his whole face and knocked him unconscious. So maybe think about the gravity of that. Second, Adam is not my boyfriend.”

Whatever

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:25:14 GMT

It's funny that Ellen says she's having trouble motivating herself to write, because I don't think I've ever written faster. There must be a rift in the space-time continuum. I'm all the way done with chapter twelve now, so more than halfway to the end of the first draft.
I must write the most when I'm annoyed but not angry. See, annoyed but not angry means I'm not speaking to someone, but I'm not crying over the situation either. It gives me a lot of free time, I think.
Whatever. I'm trying to write more entries because I notice I don't very often, but every time I start one I feel like I'm just engaging in pointless rambling.
I still haven't gotten my housing assignment from Springfield.
Oh, and livejournal thinks I'm in Barrington.

22223

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:47:05 GMT

I love when Ellen and I sit and write together. I get way more done with her than I do on my own. Just in one sitting today I wrote roughly 1300 words. That is actually a lot for me. The more and more I write, the more I think I might actually finish this one. That makes me so excited I can't speak. It goes faster and faster. I want to get the bulk of its initial writing done before I go away to school because I don't know how much time I'll have to work on it then. Also, I don't know that I'll work as hard without Ellen kicking me in the ass every few days to write more.

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Writer's Block: Thinking Outside the (Recyclable) Box

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:25:18 GMT

Think outside the (recyclable) box: What's an Act of Green someone might be surprised to learn about?

Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

View 177 Answers

Well, I don't know if this will surprise anyone on here, because I think I've mentioned it before, but sometimes I help out at the Algonquin Township during their Recycled Paint Collection. They take people's old paint and mix it so other people can re-use it instead of throwing it away. They also take used motor oil which, if I'm not mistaken, they use to power their facilities. My job is usually to sort the paint into oils and acrylics, because they do different things with them.

A Nice Time with Mom

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:44:10 GMT

This is a very nice night. Mom and I are sitting on the couch with some stove pot popcorn. She's watching the first season of How I Met Your Mother on DVD for the first time and laughing her ass off. Actually, she's enjoying it even more than I thought she would. I'll have to rent her the rest.

I'm watching Harry Potter the Musical on youtube. It's so amazing. I've been hearing about it on facebook for a little while, but I finally decided to watch it. Here are my thoughts: The actor who plays Harry is hot. The best song is Voldemort's tap dance (I take my foot, my little foot...). When Harry and Ginny kiss, it's hot. Draco's entire persona is hilarious, especially the whole thing with his made up outer space school Pigfarts. I haven't gotten to the end yet, but I already recommend it to everyone.

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Survey (100 Truths, but really 99)

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 16:44:40 GMT

I put a more interesting post up earlier this morning, but I haven't done a survey in a while, so...

001. Real name- Kristen Elizabeth Margaret Mohr
002. Nickname(s)- Ten, Molika, Winnie
003. Status - watching Greek, downloading Firefly, thinking about calling Ellen
004. Zodiac sign - Gemini
005. Male or female - female
006. Elementary - Briargate and then SSPP
007. Middle School - SSPP
008. High School - Cary-Grove
010. Hair color - brownish reddish
011. Long or short - pretty long now
012. Loud or Quiet - Quiet more often, but I like to be loud. You can tell when I'm confident/happy in a situation by my volume
013. Sweats or Jeans - Jeans
014. Phone or Camera - camera
015. Health freak - not at all, though I do sometimes snack on apples and carrots
017. Do you have a crush on someone - not really at the moment
019. Piercings - two sets in each ear, not that I often wear them
020. Tattoos - just the one, though I might have plans for one or two more
021. Water or Fire - Water
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars - the love, I guess, because the money seems easier to earn

FIRSTS:
023. First fear - huge humanoid talking deer that attacked me in my three year old dreams
024. First best friend - Missy, my favorite cousin
025. First award - maybe something from t-ball, I don't know
026. First crush - apparently Bobby Crylen in preschool, if my memory can be trusted
027. First pet - Barney, my dad's old dog, who was 13 when I was born
028. First big vacation - I was in Colorado for my first Christmas
030. First big birthday - The first one, I think, because my family used to have big summer parties. Three birthdays in one week does that.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating - nothing, but I just had a bowl of oatmeal squares cereal
050. Drinking - the milk in my cereal, but that's gone
052. I'm about to - call Ellen, I think
053. Listening to - the audio of Greek - Social Studies
054. Plans for today - I feel like I want to do something smart, like play board games
055. Waiting for - my birthday tomorrow, Firefly to finish downloading

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? - lots
059. Want to get married? Definitely, but I'll be cautious about it because I want to only do it once and it to be for keeps. My parents have been married since three years before I was born and they're my model.
060. Careers in mind - I'd love to work in a publishing house.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes - eyes
070. Shorter or taller? umm, roughly my height, slightly taller...which I guess is short for a guy
072. Romantic or spontaneous - both
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - arms, I guess. I have this thing about boys' hands.
074. Sensitive or loud - more loud, I would say, because I need someone who pushes me
075. Hook-up or relationship - relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant - trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts - I've never worn either. I can't even imagine what it's like.
081. Ran away from home - Yeah, down the street to the park once.
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense - a rubber band gun
083. Killed somebody - no
084. Heartbroken - doubt it
085. Been arrested - no
087. Cried when someone died - a couple of times

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself - I try to. I feel like I have to believe in myself if I want others to believe in me.
090. Miracles - yes
091. Love at first sight - in theory
092. Heaven - I don't really know. I'd like to, but I just can't decide.
093. Santa Claus - On some subconscious level, yes.
094. Sex on the first date - not now, but I don't have a moral stance against it
095. Kiss on the first date - perhaps

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now - I'd actually like to be with a group of people all at once. I don't get that very often.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life - not completely, but I'm working on it
099. Do you believe in God - not as a specific entity, necessarily, more as a concept
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people

Dream

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 16:19:34 GMT

I had a kind of odd dream last night and I thought it was worth sharing. First, I was in England and getting onto an elevator with three British girls. One was quite large and the other two were fairly tiny. The elevator started to go up as the door was still closing, and I remarked on it, but the girls said that all elevators were like that in England. Then somehow the weight of us got unbalanced and the elevator got thrown off and somehow tilted off the track and shot off into the sky. Somehow we had to control the elevator by balancing ourselves across the cart and leaning when we wanted to go a certain direction. Then we landed outside some guy's house and Charlie (charlieissocoollike) came out dressed and acting like a wild jungle boy. Somehow, like it was a movie or video game, I knew that you weren't supposed to let the wild boy pee on your parachute, so I said, "If you pee on my elevator, I will cut your willy off." Then the wild boy grinned and ran away. Then another Charlie who was dressed normally came up. Reflexively I also threatened him, but he sat down and said, "I'll go away if you give me a kiss." So I did and then he laughed and said, "Wow, I can't believe you fell for that," and ran away laughing. Then we got back in the elevator and let out our parachute and sailed off.

I Get Buffy Now

Fri, 29 May 2009 04:14:12 GMT

I admit it, I've started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I loved Firefly so much, and people keep saying how good Buffy is. I just had to check it out. I finished season two tonight and I'm really into it. I am locked into this show. Plus, with all the episodes online, it doesn't even seem like it's taking very long because I'm just flipping from one episode to the next. It's fantastic. Except that maybe it's just me, but I find the character of Drusilla madly irritating. Like I want to punch her in the face while simultaneously throwing up irritating. Every time she talks.

Anyway, I'm definitely keeping going with it and once I get to season four I'm going to start on Angel as well, so I can watch them how they're connected.

On an unrelated note, Katy Perry is pretty. Like, really pretty. I assume I'm not the only one who notices this.

Oh, and by the way, I was productive today...

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A Productive Day

Tue, 12 May 2009 23:50:52 GMT

I love thrift stores. I'm pretty sure that 70% or greater of my books are used. When something's a great find, I get so excited. Sparrow's Nest in particular has probably given me all of my Stephen King. And sometimes I've gotten furniture and appliances too. I've already bought all of my friend's summer birthday presents, just in the one trip today. I'm pretty excited about that, because I was agonizing over that. It's hard to find good presents the longer I'm friends with someone. I feel more and more like I want to put together packages, multi-part gifts. I'm told that my "love language", that is, the way I express affection for people, is through gift giving. Sometimes there's a lot of thought I put into what I give, but I don't always think to explain the whole stories.
I also got a used DDR mat to replace the one my brother ruined by setting his free weights on it years ago. I played for a while earlier and I was surprised how I was able to pick up on it again after just a little warm-up time. I played on workout mode and I've decided to actually record how much exercising I do on it. I did 200 calories on it today. I'm not sure if that's very much or not, but my ankles were starting to feel a little sore and I was getting a little funny because I'm often dehydrated. I never drink as much water as I'm supposed to. I'm trying. I'm better than I used to be. Anyway, I'm going to keep doing it. I have a couple of the DDR games, including one where you can put in your own CDs, so I won't get too bored. I never do anything exercise, but I think I should. It's just that so many of the activities I enjoy include sitting, such as reading, watching movies, and writing.
Speaking of....
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Degeneration

Sun, 10 May 2009 14:14:59 GMT

I had to work an 8 hour shift on Friday instead of the 4 that I am used to. I wasn't even supposed to, but someone called off and they asked me if I could. My mood degenerated quickly around the 4 hour mark. Over the course of the 8 hours, my mood went from "How are you?" to "Bother me and I'll break your fucking legs". I am not suited for work in the sales industry.
I feel degeneration in other areas of my life as well. Being out of school, alone. It feels like I spend days and days on nothing. It seems like each month I accomplish less and less, but I don't know how to do more. There's nothing to do in this town and I really don't have that many friends. I don't even know if my friends know how few they really are.
Part of me thinks that next year I might be able to change things with starting a new school, but a larger part of me doubts it. I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to be sociable and happy outside of the circle of friends I already have. A part of me doesn't even remember how I made friends with them in the first place. Lucky moment, I guess. I don't even think it was anything I did, because I remember that they all talked to me first. I don't know if I know how to talk first.

Sorry, Everyone

Sat, 02 May 2009 22:27:15 GMT

It's probably two weeks until I find out about Springfield. Sorry, I know I talk about it a lot, but there's a huge inner meaning to it. It's what Springfield means to me that causes me to be unable to think about anything else. It means knowing what will happen next in my future. It means finally getting out of Cary. It means meeting a whole new group of people, potential new friends and new loves. It means knowing whether or not I can be an adult on my own.

All kinds of thoughts run through my mind. Actually, in someone wanted to know how my mind worked, their best literary bet would be somewhere between An Abundance of Katherines and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.

My Driving Day

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:48:52 GMT

Yesterday I had a difficult time driving home. The weather was overcast, so I couldn't tell the direction I was going by the shadows, which I had done on my way up, so it threw me off. Then, I started to notice the gas gauge was lower than I thought it should be yet, considering how much I'd used on the way up. I started to get nervous because I was stuck on I88. The needle dipped lower and lower as I nervously scanned the signs for gas. I started shouting, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I accidentally passed an exit that had a gas station. The needle dipped lower. Just as I told myself I'd get out at the next exit no matter what, I saw my exit. Then I stopped swearing and started saying, "Please, God, please let me reach a gas station before my car dies." Then, just as the needle was teasing empty, I rolled into the gas station parking lot. Amusingly, my radio started playing "It's Tough to be a God" from El Dorado.

Streptococcal pharyngitis

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:48:46 GMT

You know, I don't get sick all that often, but when I do it's pretty devastating to my day. I swear, I regress to about the age of a six year old. I kept whining "I don't wanna" and "I want my mommy". No one was even home, I just couldn't stop saying it.

Artist Survey

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:52:26 GMT

I borrowed this from Alex Day. You pick an artist and then you associate their songs with stuff without repeating any titles.

My Artist:
McFly

Are you male or female:
Star Girl

Describe yourself:
Five Colors In Her Hair

How do you feel about yourself:
Smile

Describe where you currently live:
Home Is Where the Heart Is

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Down By the Lake

Your favorite form of transportation:
Surfer Babe

Your best friend is:
The Heart Never Lies

Your favourite colour is:
Ultraviolet

What's the weather like:
Walk in the Sun

Favourite time of day:
Friday Night

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
Going Through the Motions

What is life to you:
Memory Lane

What is the best advice you have to give:
Sorry's Not Good Enough

If you could change your name, what would it be:
Little Joanna

Your favourite food is:
Broccoli (Not really, at all, but it's the only song about food)

Thought For The Day:
Bubble Wrap

How I would like to die:
Not Alone

My soul's present condition:
Lonely

The faults I can bear:
Unsaid Things

My motto:
I'll Be Okay

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:38:53 GMT

It seems like the plot of every dystopian novel is "A society which believes itself better than the past. Loss of connection between people. One or two people suddenly realize/discover how things might have been better in the past with people allowed to make choices". Even though that's true, I'm still enjoying reading Brave New World.

I had a dream last night that because of the recession Barnes & Noble was selling everything in the store for less than two dollars.

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