Musings · of · Daze · and · Confusion

After this brunch thing my family does every year the day before Mother's Day, two of my aunts and I decided to go garage sale shopping in Cary. It was awesome! Garage sales have the most random shit there, I don't know how people have this stuff. I managed to come away with three books; Tithe, Fight Club, and Seeds of Yesterday; Braveheart on VHS; a cool circus-themed cookie tin; Harry Potter napkins (it was a quarter, shut up); and a breadmaker. I can't wait to make bread, the whole concept is just so cool. I'm already making some banana bread tonight as soon as the bananas thaw.

The sun is happy-making, but it makes my picture look funny.

There you go, you asked for it.

Today is the last day of school for the year. It's very weird to think about. I feel like this semester has been dragging on for ages, but it doesn't seem like it's over yet. All of my classes have been letting me out early, which is a bit frustrating, taking time to find something to do. I schedule my classes close together on purpose.
Oh, and I wore a dress today and everyone was all, "Woah, you look pretty today." Maybe this is the wrong reaction to have, but I immediately thought, "As opposed to the train wreck I am normally?" It's not the first time I've worn a skirt/dress to class. Shocker.
Sigh, another 45 minutes until CCS. I don't have anything to do. Well, I have Mists of Avalon with me. I suppose I could sit in the library and read, but shit, I could do that at home.

I've always had very funny ideas that started when I was a kid. I've always had this weird inkling in the back of my mind that innanimate objects are actually cogniscent and feeling. For example, if we have three cereals in the cabinet and I pick one, there's this weird part of my brain that appologizes (not aloud) for not picking the others. And in my old house, I used to believe that different floor surfaces were foot dominant. Like the main carpet was right foot, the kitchen was left. So I'd favor that foot when I walked. I'd even hop on the couch to get through the living room so I could switch my feet on the cushions.

1. How old will you be in five years?
24

2. Do you think you will be married by then?
God no.

3. How tall are you?
5'4, but sometimes I don't stand up straight.

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
Maybe getting a new job, school being over.

5. What's the last movie you saw?
Juno with the commentary on.

6. Who was the last person you called?
My dad to ask him what pot I was supposed to cook the sausages in.

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Carl to tell me to cook sausages.

8. What was the last text message you received?
"Sweet i had my menards interview this morning and my outback one is at 4:30"

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
I text if I just have a simple question and call if it's a story.

10. Do you have any pets?
One dog.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
I think I was sleeping.

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Married.

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
Last night, I think.

14. What color are your eyes?
I used to think they were brown but lately they've been looking Cullen-gold. Yes, that is a new color.

15. What time did you wake up today?
I don't remember, 8 I think.

16. What are you wearing right now?
This brown and blue hippie-ish shirt, jean shorts

17. What's your favorite Christmas song?
All I Want for Christmas is You

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
With my friends, the location isn't as important.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
My grandmother's house.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
Right now I would say England to hit a McFly gig. I'm feeling nostalgic.

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
A famous author (or at least happy).

22. Do you tan or burn?
Sort of both, depending on the body part.

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Huge humanoid deer.

24. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
The anal-retentive character in this book I was reading. "Oh my god, I could have Jewish relatives way back in the day. THE HORROR! Now my bitch of a girlfriend will never marry me!" That's not a direct quote.

25. How many TVs do you have?
Four that work.

26. How big is your bed?
Queen.

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Two laptops.

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
With, although I shed more the warmer it is.

29. What color are your sheets?
Beige.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two, not counting the throw pillows.

31. What is your favorite season?
Summer, hands down.

32. What do you like about fall?
Sometimes going back to school can be interesting.

33. What do you like about winter?
Sledding, hot chocolate.

34. What do you like about the summer?
Warmth, freedom.

35. What do you like about spring?
Warm rain.

36. How many states have you lived in?
Just the one.

37. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
Just the one.

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare or shoes, never just socks.

39. Are you a social person?
When I try.

40. What was the last thing you ate?
An apple.

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Outback Steakhouse

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Cake batter.

43. What is your favorite dessert?
Pumpkin bundt cake.

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Clam chowder or chicken and rice (the milk base kind)

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
None, I hate PB&J.

47. Do you like coffee?
Coffee gives me ulcers.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
No idea.

49. What do you drink in the morning?
Milk usually.

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
With is quite comfortable, actually.

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Usually facing away from the wall, whatever that amounts to.

52. Do you know how to play poker?
Kind of, the My Boys way.

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Not really.

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
Only once on a layover.

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
I'm not sure I really know what that means.

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Home.

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
My father.

59. Do you want kids?
Yes, but the whole birthing thing does kind of freak me out.

60. Do you speak any other languages?
Some Spanish.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
When I got my wisdom teeth out.

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Nope.

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
The ocean, hands down.

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
Well, a window gives you extra room to sleep.

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
No and I don't care to learn unless one of my dream cars is stick and I don't realize.

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Books and clothes, random shit.

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
Earrings.

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Kyle XY and Greek are topping the list right now.

69. Can you roll your tongue?
Both lengthwise and horizontally.

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Morgaine.

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Not any more.

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
"Wall to Wall" - Chris Brown

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
I even have the shirt I wore in the hospital.

74. What color are your bedroom walls?
Aqua-ish.

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
Of course, no reason to leave it on.

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I don't have a closet.

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
That's a hard one. Bear, I guess. You could run indoors with that one. Bees would require jumping into a pond.

78. Do you flirt a lot?
Not consciously.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
My mouth.

80. What is your favorite food?
Tiramasu, potato skins.

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
Never learned.

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope.

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
Got pretty close once.

84. What is your usual bedtime?
I don't have one. I'm a big girl.

86. Do you read the newspaper?
Not really.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Cosmo

88. Best comedian?
Kyle Dunnigan.

89. Do you watch soap operas?
Only teen ones.

90. Do you dance in the car?
Hell to the yeah.

Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:

"Kristen needs to re-think the top (maybe she should take a look at our safari chic examples?)"

Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:

"Kristen looks like she just dumped a bottle of shoe polish on her head a few days before taping began."

Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:

"kristen likes this one too."

Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:

"Kristen says when her determination sagged, her stepdad Mike encouraged her."

Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:

"Kristen" loves St. Tropez"

Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:

"Kristen wants a guy to save her from the single's group at church."

Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:

"Kristen does the tour."

Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:

"Why Kristen hates Lauren?"

Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search

"Kristen goes bezerk!"

So I think I'm pretty much in love with my guy best friend. I tried to get out of it, but every time I talk to him, it comes back like a regurgitating flu. And I know that it's no good, that it can't happen, but I can't help it. He's pretty much the most perfect guy ever created. He's practically valedictorian smart, he's athletic, he plays the drums, he's really funny, and he can be incredibly sweet sometimes. He's like the standard I hold all other guys against. Apparently we used to moon over each other when we were younger and didn't even realize it. Why does he have to have a girlfriend? And not only have they been going out for a while, but he's totally into her, I can tell. I thought that his being taken would diminish my attraction, because usually crushes disappate because I'm so not the kind of girl who goes after a guy who's already taken. Unfortunately my heart still beats a little faster every time he enters the room or even signs onto instant messenger. Why does this have to happen to me?

So I was helping my mom get ready for an interview and she was the one who asked for my opinion. Then I told her that the blush she put on her cheeks made her look like she got punched in the face. She told me to go away.

Right now I am in a sort of dull, unending pain. You see, I strained my bicep on my right arm playing Wii tennis.

To me, that's really funny if you think about it because I just played real tennis a week ago and I was fine.

01. If you were given the opportunity to have bigger boobs for a day, would you go for it?
I don't really see the point.

02. What was the last book you read?
Life of Pi

03. What do you call your mum?
Mom unless I'm tired or ill, then Mommy.

04. Do you ever get rude comments on your myspace?
No

05. Have you ever been seriously scared you were going to die?
Once when Amanda was driving us to Around the Clock.

06. What season were you born in?
Spring/Summer edge.

07. Do you like to be in the water?
As long as I don't have to fight to swim.

08. What kind of stuff do you dream about?
All kinds of things, never predictable. I only dream about my old house though, even though I moved three years ago.

09. Have you ever dreamt you were naked in public?
Nope

10. When was the last time you felt really embarrassed?
I don't remember, it must have been a while.

11. What do you think about hair extensions?
They're so frustrating to take care of and if you get a full-on weave, they hurt, so just no.

12. Do you think Lindsay Lohan is a bitch?
Whatever.

13. Do you think the Wayans brothers are hilarious?
No, I pretty much think their movies are stupid.

14. Can either of your parents play an instrument?
Not that I'm aware of.

15. Do you have a little brother?
Yeah, but he's alright.

16. Do you know any twins or triplets?
Cousins.

17. What is your favorite boys name?
Dylan

18. If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be and why?
I don't know, somewhere warm where I don't have any responsibility for a while. Oh, and with friends because otherwise I don't see the point.

19. Did you know that a Finnish heavy metal band called Lordi won the Eurovision song contest?
I didn't.

20. Have you even heard of the Eurovision song contest?
Probably.

21. Do you like fairytales?
Sure

22. What color is the sky right now?
A uniform white/gray.

23. Are your fingernails painted or natural?
Natural

24. Do you cut your toenails?
Of course

25. Do you ever get tongue tied?
All the time. I think as I speak, not before.

26. Do you think Borders is a great bookstore?
Barnes & Noble is better for several reasons.

27. If money was no object would you ever get plastic surgery?
I don't think so.

28. What do you think about permanent make up?
Lazy motherfuckers.

29. Would you ever get a tattoo?
Been there, done that.

30. Do you think nose piercings look hot?
Not really.

31. Do you think it is wrong to smoke around pregnant women and babies?
It's wrong to smoke around anyone who's bothered by it, not just the above.

32. Would you ever like to visit Ireland?
Sure, I love those people.

33. When does summer begin for you?
Last day of school.

34. Are you a movie buff?
No, but I have seen a lot of random movies.

35. Do you think that bands like Panic at the disco suck?
No, but I must admit their new Cd is different.

36. Don't you just hate ignorance?
That's a bit ironic, innit?

37. Would you rather be able to rap or sing opera/classically?
Sing

38. If you could be transported to 1940s England or 1790s France, what would you choose?
1790s France, I think. Wasn't the war going on in England in 1940s? And the French Revolution wouldn't affect me so much as a commoner.

39. Have you ever watched Dr Who?
No, but I am curious about it.

40. Have you ever seen a ghost?
No

41. Do you find the idea of space scary?
Only the infinite nothingness, really.

42. Do you honestly believe that God created the world in seven days?
If anyone could, I would imagine it would be Him.

43. Can you believe that some sick bastards could bring themselves to eat horses?
That doesn't strike me as all that sick. Indian people are disgusted that we eat burgers. I don't see the difference.

44. Do you live in the middle of nowhere?
Not really.

45. What have you eaten today?
Banana, brown sugar poptarts, potato skins, BBQ bacon burger at Bennigans

46. Do you watch Big Brother?
No

47. Is it warm outside?
No, it's raining.

48. Do you find puppies, although cute, a little too excitable?
Not mine.

49. When was the last time you saw your grandparents?
I saw my grama last weekend.

50. Could this survey have been more random?
Probably

Whats on your mind?
Wii tennis

Can you execute an acceptable cartwheel?
No one ever taught me how.

What is the last movie you saw in theaters?
Drillbit Taylor, it was pretty good.

Have you ever felt replaced?
At least twice I can think of.

When ordering sushi, what do you get?
I've never had sushi.

Whats the relationship with the last person you kissed?
We don't talk.

Last text you recieved?
From Amanda saying "Lmao". What a waste of a text message, haha.

What are you doing?
Obviously I'm surveying...

What should you be doing right now?
Nothing really, maybe writing.

Anyone upset you lately?
About the usual.

Are you happy with your living arrangements?
Mostly.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
I don't remember, tennish. I was tired, so I went to bed.

How many red lights have you ran?
None

Is there anything you regret about your past?
Bad haircut.

Has anybody on your top ever admitted to liking you?
Yes

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot?
Oh yeah, it wasn't very long ago.

Are you afraid to grow up?
Sincerely.

Did you ever keep a piggy bank?
Yes, but I don't know if I ever actually put money in it.

What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Movies and books.

What have you learned today?
Josh Peck has become hot. That was a surprise, didn't see that coming.

Where do you see yourself in 6 years?
25.

What do you miss about being a kid?
People having more free time.

What is your favorite animal?
The magnificent manatee.

What do you want in your life right now that you can’t have?
More to do.

Name a verse of the current song you are listening to?
I'm not gonna write you a love song 'cause you asked for it, 'cause you need one.

What are you excited about?
Umm, I guess I got a magazine in the mail.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Neither, really.

Do you want children?
Maybe some day.

Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically attracts you:
Smiling eyes.

What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of the year?
Pass my classes.

In the past week have you watched cartoons?
I don't remember.

Ever lost someone you really cared for?
Kind of.

So I didn't get much sleep last night and that isn't happy-making. First my phone decided to wake me up at midnight instead of 7 AM for no apparent reason. Then I couldn't get back to sleep because I'm kind of ill. Basically my throat is swollen and it makes it very difficult to swallow. Then when I finally got to sleep, it seemed not that long before I heard Carl and Mum yelling back and forth to one another across the house. Sigh. Then Mum didn't have any non-drowsy allergy stuff, so I couldn't take any antihistamine. I did take an immunity booster, but I'm already sick, so I don't know how much it'll help. The drowsy histamine stuff just knocks me out, not a good choice for the school day.

Oh, I had a dream last night that I brought home another dog for some reason that I adopted from a shelter. It was big, bigger than Nico, but the same shade of black. Oh, and it was missing one of its legs, possibly from some accident. It was the sweetest thing, but it didn't seem to even want to try any of Nico's dog food. Then in some weird mind-meld I could hear what the dog was thinking and it turned out that his past owners had abused him and fed him table scraps and old food that needed to be thrown out. It was so sad, I wanted to cry.

Yes, Crystal, I'll be on time to pick you up this morning.

Guess what I did today... I put in my notice at my job! It had to be done, it was well overdue. I don't know what inside of me finally snapped, but I waited at the end of my shift to talk to Steve (who is the best manager at the store, not gonna lie) and I told him I'd only be there for two more weeks. He seemed shocked, which didn't surprise me. I put up a facade a mile thick, so it's not surprising that they all thought I was pretty happy. But Steve was really nice about it, so that was good.

Oh, then listen to these shenanigans... Chuck called me at home just now to "talk to me about why I was quitting". It was such bullshit, you could tell he was trying to talk me out of it. He wouldn't shut up either. Eventually I just had to say, "My mind is completely made up."

I don't even care that I don't have another job yet. A great weight has been lifted from my chest knowing that I don't have to do this any more.

I just rediscovered the movie Lords of Dogtown on my movies shelf and I've re-realized just how much I love it. I watched it once last night, then again this morning with commentary by the original Z-Boys, then again later with commentary by the director (Catherine Hardwick who's directing Twilight!) and the three main actors from the film. Then I watched all the special features. I love that movie. It really makes me want to learn to skateboard, but I don't know how to accomplish that. I can't really teach myself and I don't know anyone who really knows how to do it that can teach me either. Sigh, it looks so much fun. The last time I was on a skateboard I must have hit a rock or something because I pitched forward onto my forearms and face. But I'd still try it again.

1. Would you date someone who smokes?
I really doubt it. I hate the smell so much.

2. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
Maybe if I was exactly his brand of heroin. Hahahaha, no, doubt it.

3. Would you date someone who lived in another state?
Only if we were able to see each other pretty often. I don't know what exactly pretty often equates to, I guess I'd have to figure it out at the time. More than twice a year, definitely.

4. What’s your biggest turn off?
Push-overs, closely followed by assholes.

5. What’s your biggest turn on?
A gravely voice, perhaps singing.

6. Lip ring?
Ehh, it'd probably annoy me after a while.

7. Most hurtful relationship?
None.

8. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
Not really.

9. Have you ever dated someone more than once?
Nope.

10. If you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be?
Does Alex Carpenter count? Otherwise Teddy Geiger.

11. What's the sweetest thing someone you dated did for you?
Dressing up for Halloween in a way that made me crack up and staying that way all day.

12. Last time you got flowers?
I don't remember.

13. Do you hold grudges?
Not very often.

14. Do you regret dating anyone?
Not yet.

15. Hugger or kisser?
Both, I think, but I'm probably a big hugger.

16. Missing someone?
My bestest friend in Springfield.

17. Most important lesson you've learned from your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend?
Next time pick someone who you don't find slightly weird.

18. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
I don't really know.

19. Whats the most important thing in a relationship?
Honesty and a common bond.

20. What would make you break up with someone, no questions asked?
Cheating. I just won't put up for it.

21. Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't love you back?
Of course, it was sad.

22. Would you date someone who was broke all the time?
I don't have a problem coming out of pocket, but I'd hope he could occasionally pitch in.

23. How important are looks?
Definitely important to start out, because you have to have a physical attraction, even if you love him for his mind.

24. How do you know when you are in love?
I couldn't tell you.

25. Do you consider yourself shy?
Somewhat.

26. Would you rather date someone who was SUPER HOT or someone REALLY FUN?
Fun, hands down.

27. Have you ever been turned down or turned someone down?
Both. Getting turned down is much harder for me than the reverse, though.

28. Have you ever been ashamed of anyone you were dating?
I think ashamed is a strong word...

29. Do you currently want to date anyone?
I'm not desperate about it, but I wouldn't mind.

30. Thing that made you the happiest today?
Watching "Some Like it Hot" in film class. It's pretty funny so far.

31. Would you ever date anyone your parents disapproved of?
Depends on why they disapprove of him, so maybe. I would more date someone my parents disapproved of than if Carl disapproved, surprisingly. I guess I do hang out with Carl more outside the house.

32. Do you stay friends w/ the people you date?
I try to stay polite at least.

33. Would you fight over someone you wanted to be with?
As in fight for him with another girl? Probably not. Something off about that.

34. Do you kiss on the 1st date?
I don't really think about it. If it happens, it happens.

35. Would you date someone older or younger than you?
Both, but not by more than a couple of years, I think. I like a similar maturity level. Otherwise I get annoyed (younger) or bored (older).

36. Does the person you currently like know you like them?
I don't have anything really going on, just some guys I think are alright...

37. Ever been cheated on?
No, and thank God.

38. Do you think the word 'love' is overused?
Not overused as much as sometimes used too quickly.

39. Ever been called a whore?
No

40. Favorite memory with an ex?
Seeing the Grudge.

41. If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?
Probably not, honestly. I don't think I'd ever trust them again. If I really loved him, it'd hurt that much more.

Spaghetti carbonera. Pasta with parmesan cheese and garlic with bacon. Sounds pretty good right? Well, apparently we shouldn't let me cook it. Did you know that a clove of garlic does not mean the whole thing?

I didn't. 

So my dad said something really weird this morning. Basically he indicated that the amount I read is tantamount to taking drugs. Except not in those exact words. But yeah, and this really upset me. It's not like I lock myself in my room or pass up on real friends for Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte. I just read when I'm at home and relaxing. I would much rather see the friends I love, but sometimes you're just too exhausted for much, you know? I don't see how that's a reading epidemic. Oh no, she reads a lot, and that's like drugs, so she's going to die!